Hello Terri and welcome 
It does definitely soud like you need a new doctor!!! The nurse is quite right. If you want there is a "find a doctor" section here on the website where you can post to find recommendations in your area. Not all rheumatologists are exeprienced with lupus and recommendations are often very worthwhile.
It sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate with work and family committments. It may not be easy to do but you need to try and find ways that you can ease your load a little and pace yourself a lot more. Even if, practically, you can't do much to reduce stress and workload try to reserve a little rest time during the day. Sometimes even little ten minute breaks/naps can do some good. Being kind to yourself and putting yourself first is also very important. This is not a disease that you can "fight" against and push through. Doing so, especially in a flare, will only make things a lot worse.
Did your rheumatologist put you on medication and if so has it had any effect so far? There is a good chance that you will feel a lot better in the future when you're meds are fully adjusted (it takes some time) and when you have learnt to live with and know your disease better.
I can't help much with the menopause question as I don't know much about it. As far as I know lupus is not affected by the menopause but I may be wrong there. Hopefully someone else will clear that one up for us.
All the best and hugs :hug:
Katharine
It does definitely soud like you need a new doctor!!! The nurse is quite right. If you want there is a "find a doctor" section here on the website where you can post to find recommendations in your area. Not all rheumatologists are exeprienced with lupus and recommendations are often very worthwhile.
It sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate with work and family committments. It may not be easy to do but you need to try and find ways that you can ease your load a little and pace yourself a lot more. Even if, practically, you can't do much to reduce stress and workload try to reserve a little rest time during the day. Sometimes even little ten minute breaks/naps can do some good. Being kind to yourself and putting yourself first is also very important. This is not a disease that you can "fight" against and push through. Doing so, especially in a flare, will only make things a lot worse.
Did your rheumatologist put you on medication and if so has it had any effect so far? There is a good chance that you will feel a lot better in the future when you're meds are fully adjusted (it takes some time) and when you have learnt to live with and know your disease better.
I can't help much with the menopause question as I don't know much about it. As far as I know lupus is not affected by the menopause but I may be wrong there. Hopefully someone else will clear that one up for us.
All the best and hugs :hug:
Katharine
