I haven't posted in a long time. I have been to ill. But Here I am, I needed to get somethings off my chest badly!!! I have been very sick for 10 years the 7 have been the worst!Lupus has really taken over my whole life. I have tried all the meds and I am still on several but I am still very sick and disabled!! It hurts me so bad to finally say this out loud:worried:My marriage is in a really bad place right now!!!!!!!:worried:
My husband has helped me out alot with all my sickness in the beginning,but he make some cracks here and there along the way. But for the past couple of years it has been unbearable at times!!I try to explain to him how much pain I am in and how sick I am in and he said he doesn't need me to tell him that!! I am just trying to explain so he will understand why I can't do much. Lately nothing. But then he makes smart cracks like,Your home all day why can't you do this or that. When I tell him we need stuff from the store he says why don't you go get it. I know he is worn out!! But I still can't help that I can not lift all the groceries into the car,I can't clean the house.
One minute he acts like he understands and in the next few he is yelling and cussing. He has even made fun of me when I cry!!I try to explain it to him and he said that I just wanted everyone to have a miserable life like mine. When I try to talk to him he rolls his hand at me to rush me up. He said that he doesn't need details he just wants me to hurry and speak fast. I told him it is hard for me to talk fast because I am exhausted and lathargic most of the time and with brain fog it is hard for me to put my words together so I can't talk fast or think of the words fast enough. When I tell him all of these things he just gets mad and hateful towards me jumps up and walks off.ALot of the time He will cuss at me as he is walking away.
He did help me out alot and was very thoughtful but he has changed and believe me I do see his side. He is so tired. He works all the time and then has to take my son to school and help do most things around the house. I do tell him how much I appreciate him. But it doesn't excuse his behavoir because I can not help it. He stays in another room when I watch tv so he doesn't have to be around me. He said he doesn't want to talk to me.He makes me feel like I am nothing.
I know alot of this whole problem is that I haven't been able to be the wife he needs in a intamite way.I can't help that either. I told him that by the time I do start to feel alittle better so that I can have that kind of relationship with him he has hurt me so bad in the way that he has talked to me and treated me I am to hurt to be close to him in that way. I am at witts end,but I have tried and tried to talk to him. He has become hateful. He refuses to listen to me and really treats me like he can't stand me. I can't help having lupus and it had totally taken over my life. I am on disability. I don't know what to do. We have a 11 year old son.
I wish I could get my husband back to the way he use to be. He was loving and caring and now he is a total stranger.!!!!!!!Because he refuses to listen to me I have even tried to write him letters because I don't want to argue. He still won't budge!! Nothing works and he tells me it is my fault that he treats me the way he does. He really doesn't care anymore. He tells me all the time he gets nothing out of this relationship. I told him that I couldn't help being sick and that he could leave if he wanted to (as I was crying my eyes out) PRAY FOR US!!!!!
My husband has helped me out alot with all my sickness in the beginning,but he make some cracks here and there along the way. But for the past couple of years it has been unbearable at times!!I try to explain to him how much pain I am in and how sick I am in and he said he doesn't need me to tell him that!! I am just trying to explain so he will understand why I can't do much. Lately nothing. But then he makes smart cracks like,Your home all day why can't you do this or that. When I tell him we need stuff from the store he says why don't you go get it. I know he is worn out!! But I still can't help that I can not lift all the groceries into the car,I can't clean the house.
One minute he acts like he understands and in the next few he is yelling and cussing. He has even made fun of me when I cry!!I try to explain it to him and he said that I just wanted everyone to have a miserable life like mine. When I try to talk to him he rolls his hand at me to rush me up. He said that he doesn't need details he just wants me to hurry and speak fast. I told him it is hard for me to talk fast because I am exhausted and lathargic most of the time and with brain fog it is hard for me to put my words together so I can't talk fast or think of the words fast enough. When I tell him all of these things he just gets mad and hateful towards me jumps up and walks off.ALot of the time He will cuss at me as he is walking away.
He did help me out alot and was very thoughtful but he has changed and believe me I do see his side. He is so tired. He works all the time and then has to take my son to school and help do most things around the house. I do tell him how much I appreciate him. But it doesn't excuse his behavoir because I can not help it. He stays in another room when I watch tv so he doesn't have to be around me. He said he doesn't want to talk to me.He makes me feel like I am nothing.
I know alot of this whole problem is that I haven't been able to be the wife he needs in a intamite way.I can't help that either. I told him that by the time I do start to feel alittle better so that I can have that kind of relationship with him he has hurt me so bad in the way that he has talked to me and treated me I am to hurt to be close to him in that way. I am at witts end,but I have tried and tried to talk to him. He has become hateful. He refuses to listen to me and really treats me like he can't stand me. I can't help having lupus and it had totally taken over my life. I am on disability. I don't know what to do. We have a 11 year old son.
I wish I could get my husband back to the way he use to be. He was loving and caring and now he is a total stranger.!!!!!!!Because he refuses to listen to me I have even tried to write him letters because I don't want to argue. He still won't budge!! Nothing works and he tells me it is my fault that he treats me the way he does. He really doesn't care anymore. He tells me all the time he gets nothing out of this relationship. I told him that I couldn't help being sick and that he could leave if he wanted to (as I was crying my eyes out) PRAY FOR US!!!!!