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florie
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Discussion Starter #1
Hi all,
I haven't been on my computer for about 8 days. My mom had to be rushed to the hospital.She is finally home as of yesterday.
As most of you know she has COPD. She was having respitory distress and i called 911. While in the hospital they said she was having kidney failure. They called in a kidney specialist and her test was negetive. Then she was having heaviness in her chest and irregular heart beat. They did an ekg and i really don't know if they saw anything. Alot of medicines now . she is weak before she went to the hospital and is even weaker now. She has a nodule on her lung that we never got checked due to her hospital emergency. I am hanging in there and don't expect any miracles to happen. Her nurse is going to see if her doctor will have hopice have a visit with us on what they can do for her and me. But i know she will not have them. She is weaning off the prednisone, and the antibiotic will be finished soon. When she finishes the pred. it won't be long till she get's sick again. This has been a pattern for her.
The nurse that comes to the house will find out facts for me. Like why is she on antibiotic, what's the infection. And get the med's straightened out.
One night in the hospital we hired a private nurse for her. She was great and made mom feel secure. To many mistakes were happening between wrong medicine, and then her by-pap machine was hooked up without her wearing the face mask, and no oxygen was connected. That was why i had the private nurse for one night.
I was making two trips a day to the hospital,come home sleep,then go back to feed her that nasty food. She is on a cardiac diet.
Me and my fianc'e would go out for dinner then come home and rest for the same pattern the next day.
Thank you all for listening to my story. That is why i haven't been on the site and for the first time tonight I found 60 e-mails and only answered a few. One was Karol, seems like her and I are going threw the same with our mom's.
Love, florie
 

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Hi Florie,
I am sending you some soft, gentle hugs your way.:hug::hug:
I know how hard this is on you. I have been threw it with my father.
Please try to take care of yourself.
Love,
Lyn
 

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(((((((Hey Florie)))))))

Sorry to hear your mum is so poorly.

Sending lots of hugs and thought your way for you, your mum and your family at this difficult time.

Take care of yourself

Clairexx
 

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Hi Florie

Sorry to hear about you mum.

Big hugs and kisses being sent to you and your family.

Please take care of yourself.
 

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Dear Florie,
I am sorry your Mum has been so ill. The Private Nurse was an excellent idea and must have given you some peace of mind.
I will be thinking of you all.
x Lola
 

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Hi Florie,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Mum. It sounds as if she has similar problems in hospital to the ones Dad had with oxygen not being renewed and machines not hooked up. I suppose hospitals the world over are pretty much the same when it comes to such things :(

It is so hard to see someone you love go through that distress. I think that anything to do with not being able to breathe properly just seems all the more distressing.

Hugs to you and your mum :hug:
Katharine
 

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As you know I can clearly understand what your going through. I continue to pray for your mom and I hope that she gets better. I think if there is a family friend you can call so you can get out for that dinner then you should.

Take care of yourself and I am here for you if you need to vent.
 

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Hi Florie,

What a scare that had to be for you. Since your mom felt secure with the private nurse in the hospital she may be ready to have additional help at home now. That would take some of the work off you and you might start to feel better also.

Take care,
Lazylegs
 

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Hi Florie

I am so sorry to hear about your mom and everything you are having to go through(((hugs)))).I know this is probably a silly thing to say but please try and take care of yourself when you can and get some rest or you will make yourself sick to(((hugs))).I sure hope you know that everyone on the sight is here for you even if it is to reply to a post.Please keep is informed on how you and your mom are doing.

Tammy
 

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The Other Illinois Tammy
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florie,
I am so sorry to hear that your mom is not doing good. You might be surprised if she took to the private nurse, she might like someone coming to help if it is the same person everytime. That is wonderful that you might be getting some help finally and free you up to maybe feel a little better. I thoughts and prayers are with you as I know what you are going through. Remember to take a little time for yourself and to take care of you. I know it is easy to say it and even harder to do it. If you need anything please just ask. I am hoping things settle down soon for you and life can get back to your normal soon. Be well and hang in there florie, you are not alone we are just a power button away for you.
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter #12
I love you all and your replies too.
I am doing that's all i can say. I am going threw phrases of resentment,anger and frustration. I have been taking care of my mom for 5yrs now. She gets so confused,whinny and takes stuff out on me. I know that she is ill but it seems like all my life my mom just takes me for granted. I am resting when i can. I have seen my physchiartrist and he is telling me to take care of myself. He has increased my sleep med to help me sleep better.

Has anyone had hospice for a family member? Mom is so upset with the idea. And my far away in denial brother is making a big deal out of it. How can hospice help us? I also understand that you don't have to be lying there dying to have them come. Fill me in , please.
Hugs to all of you, you all have touched my heart with concerns and prayers. It means so much to have you.

hugs, florie
 

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Hi Florie,

On the hospice front, yes, we did consider that for Dad. In his case, however, he was very much for. He went to the hospice one day a week and used to have a lovely relaxing day there. He was able to walk in their grounds which were adapted to people with near to nil mobility and enjoyed a delicious lunch there too. It gave Mum a day "off" during the week. He would have gone there on a more permanent basis but in their area that option was only available to palliatif care patients so wouldn't have happened until the last.

I think it is an option to be considered. It is very easy for those not doing the caring to criticise. People who are ill can also be incredibly demanding. I remember when Dad was in hospital he would text or call Mum about every five minutes - he was literally driving her mad with it. He also had little ability to see further than HIS immediate needs and although deep down he did worry for her, he was so scared a lot of the time that it seemed beyond him to show it a lot.

I think it is something that needs to be considered and discussed with your Mum. Maybe just asking her if she would consider visiting, even having a day there (if that's an option) once a week to give you a break.

I might sound selfish but there are occasions in life where we do have to put ourselves a little higher up the list.

love and hugs :hug:
Katharine
 

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florie
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Discussion Starter #14
Hi Kathrine,
Thank you for sharing your hospice experience for your dad.
The hopice they are talking about for mom will take place right here at home. She won't have to go out for tests or see doctors from what our nurse has said. They will be in contac with us and review what they offer. Mom has agreed to it so far. And i am so glad you shared that part with me about how demanding they get while they are ill. With hospice they will counsel us and even have a physchiartrist come. That's what my mom needs. And we need to be prepared for when god calls for her. It will be very hard on me mentally. I already have mental health problems . I don't know what it will be like to live a normal outgoing life. Because i lived my mother's life. I am almost afraid of how i will go about it. I am getting counseling from a therapist who is trying to work with me on things i am going threw now with mom. Then she will work with me as the time nears.
I hope you understand what i am trying to say, I hope i don't sound cold or anything. Nor stupid. I am climbing a mountain slowly and trying to reach that point in life that i deserve. But in the past few months as i was making progress i began to take some steps back down as the going got rough with my mom.
Love and hugs to you, florie
 

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Hi Florie,

The hospice care in your home sounds like a good option. Your mom would still be in familiar surroundings and comfortable in her own bed. Plus it should give you a little time to yourself for a change.

Take care,
Lazylegs
 

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Florie :hug:

I don't in any way find you cold at all. I think that all people in such situations have to think about what's going to happen, practical things and also how they will react to certain things.

My Dad also had help from the hospice people at home. They came out and discussed all his meds with Mum and Dad, made sure things were balanced, even changed a couple of things to give him more relief. They also helped both of them come to terms with what they knew was an inevitable outcome and helped coordinate things like getting some home help so that Dad could have baths and things like that (Mum was in no way strong enough to do that).

All the best,
Katharine
 

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So sad... You can do it friend.. Although you're taking care of your mom.. Don't forget to take care of yourself also, ok?! :hugbetter: :there: :hug:

God bless you!
 

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Hi florie

I am so glad to hear that you are taking your pyschiartrist's advice and getting some rest and preparing for the future. You don't sound cold at all to me, you have been remarkably brave and patient over the last five years and have dealt with so much.
hospice care sounds like it is the best idea now (and if your brother has a problem with that it might be an idea to remind him who has looked after your mother for the past 5 yrs!!!) but whatever you do decide make sure you keep getting lots of rest and take care of yourself.

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

Elle x
 

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Hi Florie,

How is your mom doing and how are you holding up?
Check in when you can.
Hope you had a nice holiday.:wink2::wink2::wink2:
 
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