Very sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Please take care of yourself through this difficult time.
I just had to share with you something. Maybe it won't mean much but it did to me. When I lost a dear friend of mine to cancer, one of her friends told me that my friend left the world and gave her a gift. I was thinking what, a gift? She said yes, she left this world giving me a gift and what better way to leave the world than to give someone you love a gift. I said what was it? She said "the gift of life". I was a little confused but she explained how she loved life and even through the illness she always lived, etc. etc. So I thought that was nice. But it wasn't until my grandmother passed away that I really realized what she said. I don't know why it took that long, but I then realized it. You love that person so much, they leave and they leave you with the gift of life. For you to laugh, live, smile, and go on and live just as they lived and just as they wanted you to. So I said to myself. My grandmother (who was like my mother, best friend in the world) has given me once last gift. A gift of life. To live, laugh, and get all sorts of memories and when I do she is right there in my heart.
Like I said, not sure if that kind of helps, but I wanted to share it with you.