Hi everyone,
I just spent the day taking a trip to put flowers on my parents graves. It has been 8 years since I went to my mom's it is a long trip to her grave. I thought I could handle it but fell to peices again at the grave side. Thank goodness that my daughter was with me it took a little bit to pull myself together again. I am not sure if it was because it has been so long since I was there or if it is that I need her closer to me or if I just miss her. It could be all of it. I got lost twice trying to get to her grave and went to 2 wrong cemetaries. I know laugh but the cemetary is out in the middle of no where. My mind is not what it was 8 years ago either.
I did ok at my dad's but did get a little teary but did not cry. I am not sure how I held it together there and lost it at my mom's. I get to see my dad's more often since my parents wishes were to be put with their parents. My dad's is in the town I live in and easier to get to for me.
Maybe I am just loosing my mind and all control of my emotions. Maybe the anti-depressant is not working. I was in the sun a good part of the day so maybe that was it, but I did run the air conditioning to trick my body to thinking that I was not (it was like 55 or 60 degrees in the car) in the sun. Since I am turning red I don't think it is working. Well was hoping someone on here had some advise for this as I don't want to fall apart everytime I get to go to my mom's grave. It will be 9 year July 27th and I have to be past her death don't I? Well, it was a real long day since we did get lost twice. I did have a wonderful time with my daughter. I am so proud of her she held it together very well. She put the light on the grave and the flowers in the ground for me while I sat in the car just crying. I do hope that my daughter does not start having nightmares again because of this trip. She was 12 and sat in the hospital all 13 days with me helping me take care of my mom and her grandma.
I hope all of you are well and doing well also. Thanks for the shoulder as I needed it. I am ok for the most part but don't feel like I did before the trip. For those of you that are struggling with their parent(s) I am sorry for putting this on here but I do need some help with this. I don't mean to make any of you sad for what you face or will face soon.
I just spent the day taking a trip to put flowers on my parents graves. It has been 8 years since I went to my mom's it is a long trip to her grave. I thought I could handle it but fell to peices again at the grave side. Thank goodness that my daughter was with me it took a little bit to pull myself together again. I am not sure if it was because it has been so long since I was there or if it is that I need her closer to me or if I just miss her. It could be all of it. I got lost twice trying to get to her grave and went to 2 wrong cemetaries. I know laugh but the cemetary is out in the middle of no where. My mind is not what it was 8 years ago either.
I did ok at my dad's but did get a little teary but did not cry. I am not sure how I held it together there and lost it at my mom's. I get to see my dad's more often since my parents wishes were to be put with their parents. My dad's is in the town I live in and easier to get to for me.
Maybe I am just loosing my mind and all control of my emotions. Maybe the anti-depressant is not working. I was in the sun a good part of the day so maybe that was it, but I did run the air conditioning to trick my body to thinking that I was not (it was like 55 or 60 degrees in the car) in the sun. Since I am turning red I don't think it is working. Well was hoping someone on here had some advise for this as I don't want to fall apart everytime I get to go to my mom's grave. It will be 9 year July 27th and I have to be past her death don't I? Well, it was a real long day since we did get lost twice. I did have a wonderful time with my daughter. I am so proud of her she held it together very well. She put the light on the grave and the flowers in the ground for me while I sat in the car just crying. I do hope that my daughter does not start having nightmares again because of this trip. She was 12 and sat in the hospital all 13 days with me helping me take care of my mom and her grandma.
I hope all of you are well and doing well also. Thanks for the shoulder as I needed it. I am ok for the most part but don't feel like I did before the trip. For those of you that are struggling with their parent(s) I am sorry for putting this on here but I do need some help with this. I don't mean to make any of you sad for what you face or will face soon.