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4 Posts
I'm turning 34 this year and I have been diagnosed with SLE for 16 years. I have had many compications due to this illness and the various therapies provided by my team of doctors. The list seems to grow every year, hip replacements, pulmonary embolism, cellulitis, secondary hypertension, nephrotic syndrome of the kidneys ect.
I have lost track of the number of scars and wounds to my body that I have aquired over the last 16 years. I don't even wear short clothes or pants for fear of questions.
I have I have able to get by stregnth of will alone. I have never had anyone to rely on, not family or friends.
Recently, I have found that my will is failing and I feel very alone. I have lost friends, family, girlfriends and even lost job opportunities due my illness. My only close family, my sister is dying from terminal cancer and this will be her last year with me.
For such a large metropolian area like my city (Vancouver BC) there are not any if at many support groups in my city.
I have hid the Lupus from friends and co-workers and bosses in order to get by. I have climbed the corporate ladder to one the highest offices in my company and thrown myself into my work in order to not think about the Lupus and the constant pain.
I feel very alone and I don't feel that I could provide much to a potential partner except alot of late nite visits to the emergency room. I also cannot have children because of the chemo drugs regiments that have been used on me over the years to treat my nephritis of the kidneys.
I am afraid of what the futrue holds and would really appreciate some advice on how you all deal with this awful disease and perhaps how to get by.
Any comments would be appreciated as I can no longer go this alone. For once in my life, I do not have a sense of clarity or hope for the future.
I have lost track of the number of scars and wounds to my body that I have aquired over the last 16 years. I don't even wear short clothes or pants for fear of questions.
I have I have able to get by stregnth of will alone. I have never had anyone to rely on, not family or friends.
Recently, I have found that my will is failing and I feel very alone. I have lost friends, family, girlfriends and even lost job opportunities due my illness. My only close family, my sister is dying from terminal cancer and this will be her last year with me.
For such a large metropolian area like my city (Vancouver BC) there are not any if at many support groups in my city.
I have hid the Lupus from friends and co-workers and bosses in order to get by. I have climbed the corporate ladder to one the highest offices in my company and thrown myself into my work in order to not think about the Lupus and the constant pain.
I feel very alone and I don't feel that I could provide much to a potential partner except alot of late nite visits to the emergency room. I also cannot have children because of the chemo drugs regiments that have been used on me over the years to treat my nephritis of the kidneys.
I am afraid of what the futrue holds and would really appreciate some advice on how you all deal with this awful disease and perhaps how to get by.
Any comments would be appreciated as I can no longer go this alone. For once in my life, I do not have a sense of clarity or hope for the future.