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46 Posts
Happy new year to all!!! Though I'd start with a summary of how my last visit to the rheumy went couple of weeks ago, last saw him in Aug - attempts to wean off 10mg pred failing, still waiting for plaquinel to work. Now feeling very fat & unfit, have put on about half stone. No more joint pain as long as keeping on 10mg pred. Still not feeling 'fully well' - some days feel like I'm about to go down with something. Am i feeling depresed? dunno.
So after the anticipation of giving 7 tubes of blood at the docs - not all of the results came back in time - which was highly annoying! My complement levels aren't so low this time. However I was finding it difficult to explain what symptoms I was still having & I was choking up with tears!! Didn't actually break down but I did shed a few requiring tissues, felt soooo stoopid & red faced afterwards - wait months to see this guy & then I come over all silly!
He said that I was coping too well in the beginning & that I was grieving (?my previous life). I said that I was probably in denial back then & that usually on everyday basis, I just forget I have lupus & just get on with 'it'. Its only when I have a dr appt, I start feeling sorry for myself - very terrible & selfish. So now I've been started on azathioprine 25mg working up to 100mg over 4 weeks with view to reducing steroids next time. Dr says still not right time to start trying for baby - maybe in spring??
I was feeling that all that I was living for is for my lupus to go into remission so we can start trying for a baby. How sad is that? Now its a new year, I'm taking stock of what I have & try & improve my self esteem. So while i'm not experiencing any joint pain, I'm going to go back to the gym, as I'm sure being so unfit is what is making me feel so miserable lately.
He was also asking me if I thought I was depressed (I said no), how my sleep pattern is (sleep a lot & very well, but not always wake up refreshed) & how my husband is coping (he treats me no different & sent me the sweetest birthday & xmas cards this year!)
So new year, new me!! I am determined to not let this lupus get me down!!!
So after the anticipation of giving 7 tubes of blood at the docs - not all of the results came back in time - which was highly annoying! My complement levels aren't so low this time. However I was finding it difficult to explain what symptoms I was still having & I was choking up with tears!! Didn't actually break down but I did shed a few requiring tissues, felt soooo stoopid & red faced afterwards - wait months to see this guy & then I come over all silly!
He said that I was coping too well in the beginning & that I was grieving (?my previous life). I said that I was probably in denial back then & that usually on everyday basis, I just forget I have lupus & just get on with 'it'. Its only when I have a dr appt, I start feeling sorry for myself - very terrible & selfish. So now I've been started on azathioprine 25mg working up to 100mg over 4 weeks with view to reducing steroids next time. Dr says still not right time to start trying for baby - maybe in spring??
I was feeling that all that I was living for is for my lupus to go into remission so we can start trying for a baby. How sad is that? Now its a new year, I'm taking stock of what I have & try & improve my self esteem. So while i'm not experiencing any joint pain, I'm going to go back to the gym, as I'm sure being so unfit is what is making me feel so miserable lately.
He was also asking me if I thought I was depressed (I said no), how my sleep pattern is (sleep a lot & very well, but not always wake up refreshed) & how my husband is coping (he treats me no different & sent me the sweetest birthday & xmas cards this year!)
So new year, new me!! I am determined to not let this lupus get me down!!!