The Lupus Forum banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

· Registered
39 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hiya all

i'm so worried about xmas, since being dx not been well, but least i'm on meds now just waiting for them to kick in.

with xmas in our family, on my boyfriends side his mum and dad not together, his dad still singel, his mum has a boyfriend, so xmas can be a nightmare fitting everyone in without putting someone out.
Boyfriend's dad dont like his ex mum's boyfriend but we have his dad every year so he's not alone. But this year we wanted boyfriend's mum as she's always left out. So now its set that my boyfriend's dad is going to my boyfriend's sister's and we are having his mum and her boyfriend. The sister was not total happy so it's ended up after everyone coming here after we have xmas dinner with his mum and boyfriend.

we have 3 sons and they all want to stay home for xmas as they can play with the gifts and me and my boyfriend want to stay home too but the way i am feeling, so worried how am i going to do all the dinner and then entertain and then in the afternoon everyone here. i know my boyfriend will help some but he's so slow at peeling potatoes lol
i do love xmas but just so worried how to cope
this message is just to express how i'm feeling as theres nothink i can change but just wanted to let my worries out so friends lol

thanks for the time and i'm sure a lot of you in the same boat
like omg how the **** am i going to do all this lol

big big hugzzzzzzzz:rolleyes:

· Registered
2,872 Posts
Hello Wendy

Sometimes I am glad I hardly have any family! :hehe: I'd have a break down if I had to do all that for so many people

I think Christmas and the holidays can be a nightmare for well women too.
I am not particularly unwell but I am heartily glad when the holidays are over and we have only our daughter and grand daughter to cater for. We have our daughter's birthday on the 29th with her trad birthday meal, roast beef & yorlshire pud dinner. I feel I have had my head in a hot oven all week.

First: don't hesitate to put your own needs first. Why not ? You are a person too and have as much right to enjoy yourself as anybody. You won't manage to put yourself first of course, but if you think like that, you free yourself from denying your needs.

My second thought- is there any really good reason why your guests should not bring a useful contribution to the food ? This is the one time in the year when you can get as much pre prepared and ready to cook as possible, with a clear conscience. If they don't want to cook or can't cook, a bag of ready roast spuds would be very acceptable however unglamorous.

Then there's planning, serious lists, adaptation and preparing beforehand as much as possible. I find there's a major storage problem and of course with so many to feed it has to be terrible. But your guests could buy, store and bring along. We all love a whole roast bird but this year I got 2 MS turkey breasts for left overs on Boxing Day. I bought the trimmings at M&S and I am preparing the sprouts today. I'll blanche them briefly in boiling water then put them in changes of cold water to cool down as fast as poss then freeze.

I am sure we all have similar problems and it will be interesting to see how others cope. I think the same principles apply to this as to everything when one is not well: don't have too high standards and be prepared to change and adapt. Get all the help you can and don't feel bad about asking and expecting. It won't do anybody any harm but taking on too much all by yourself won't do you any good at all


Note for our American friends: Boxing Day is the day after Christmas and is also a holiday.

· Registered
39 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
wow thank you u say everythink right i will take on everythink u say u lady of wisdom my in laws not that nice but least there sons the best lol

what we put up with when u love someone lol

thank you

big big hugz

· The Other Illinois Tammy
1,193 Posts

Well, know the feeling about the family thing. We hold our breath just waiting for the explosion from whomever. We have made it past thanksgiving of course giving thanks that no one had a problem. All you can do is what you can do and leave the rest to someone else. When it is all said and done the people we get upset with and angry with the most are ones we love the most (family). I can say that we are here for you if you need us during the holidays and all this worry and everything will be perfect for you watch and see!!! lol


· Registered
807 Posts

I do know the feelings you are going through as I am a 2nd wife. Over the years, I have played peace maker, moderator, and shoulder to cry on for everyone!

Last year I didn't do the holidays as I was too sick, this year I thought about the same, however everyone wanted to get together and I have the only home that is centrally located and large enough to allow several people to stay overnight, rather than stay at hotels.

For Thanksgiving, I had everyone bring something, all I had t do was roast the bird, and that really takes little effort. I did it all in disposable cookware (those cardboard like pans by Glad) and I used plastic plates and cups. I did use real silverware. I set it up buffet style on the kitchen counter and everyone served themselves, sat and ate then tossed their dishes in a bin, silverware in the sink.

It was quite easy! I did get a cleaning girl to come in before (well worth the 100 dollars - 50 each time) and again afterwards to clean up from the overnighters and change the sheets...she even washed, dried and folded the bedding and put it back in the closet. What I didn't spend in food and stuff almost paid for her anyway.

For christmas, believe it or not, I got a place that caters (Turkey, ham fixings and fresh baked pies) for 15.00 per that the plan for this year. We don't do gifts for the adults anymore so that should help pay for the dinner.

Everyone was happy and I didn't need a week to recover or get ready fo the events!

As to the personalities, just sit them with buffers between, like put your boyfrieds mom and date near boyfriend at one end of ther table, the other father down by the kids (ask him to help them with the dinner if it will make it less obvious). I used to start the holiday with a statement before we all ate...

"This year we have so much to be grateful for, espeially having all of the people we love around us sharing the joy of the holiday with peace and love", then we o around the table so each person can say what they are thankful for....not a mean word in the house after that one!

Best of luck, remember, you are not the cause of their differences and you can not make them love each other, all you can do is love each once of them andhope for the best.

1 - 5 of 5 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.