[Katharine]

Hi all,

I have recently been struck by the sadness felt by so many of us concerning our size and how others perceive us because of it.

When I was still teaching I once read a very good article on that subject and thought I'd post a link to it here.

It's a long article but a good read - I hope the link works

http://www.odemagazine.com/doc/6/size_six_the_western_women_s_harem/

Katharine

 

[Clare.T]

I am so incensed at the moment that I had to comment although I haven't read the article. I went to see a GP recently, not my usual one. Her room was stifling hot but if course she was sitting and I had walked rather fast on a hot day but with a cool breeze. I asked surely they had air conditioning in the new health centre. Yes but I feel fine she replied You are big. Her being a tich of a woman born of a gnome to an elf no doubt. After discussing what I had gone for she returned to the attack. I see you haven't been weighed for a long time. Right, like end of April is a long time ? Hum what ever are you eating ask at reception for the low fat diet. I have been on a low fat diet for years compared with the majority of the population.
My objection to all this was her knee jerk reaction. My own GP just shrugs when I express my concerns and points out that my blood pressure is fine so is my cholesterol, I have no diabetes and no heart problems. Obviously it is easier for me to go along with his shrug but he isn't right either my joints suffer I am sure and I am not happy with myself.
The past few days in the UK, fat people are being discussed in morally judgemental terms suggesting that all overweight people are feckless ignorant slobs, a justifiable target for society's scorn, criminalized in fact and to be punished for their lack of self control by withholding medical treatment. Let's judge everybody by the way they look or worse still if they don't look the way other people look.
Let's encourage the disrespect of the handicapped and disabled, the 'other' and the 'different'
Meanwhile let's continue to condone the murderous and maiming drunk drivers and the streets of our cities awash in puke at weekends. Negligible cost to society and the health services there, isn't there, but a lot of profit for some.
Phew, that felt good !

Cheers
Clare

 

[Marika]

Ye Katherine,
100% correct....but....i would still like to get rid of my flabby tummy....
also only tdy at school I watched some 14yr old girls waddle down the school hall...they were simply too fat...srry but that comes from the no exercise thing...
also I have a 13 yr old girl in one class who has really bad RA...because of meds. she is way over wieght...i feel so srry for her...i suppose I aand many otehrs are already programmed into the must be slimmer ..i am now a size 16...last 12mnths gained 10 kilos I can not get it off...I am not trying to diet because of fashion but because of health.....
these poor women who diet for fashion i really do feel srry for them...
but yes I aalso have had trouble finding clothes sometimes...I believe it was Argentina who brought out a law that if shops didn't stock bigger sizes they would haave to pay a fine...
good idea lets go on a shopping trip to Argentina!!!!!

Marika

 

[Marika]

wow just read Clare's reply.....glad I'm not a cat or a dog in her house tonight

Marika

 

[Katharine]

Wow Clare, yes, that must have felt good :rotfl::rotfl:

And yep, I agree, we do, most of us, probably eat more healthily than most of the population. And yes, I do also pay attention and would like to lose a little weight - for me, for my joints - but certainly not for what anyone else wants me to be.

Katharine

 

[KarolH]

Katherine,

First of all thanks for the link. It is interesting reading.

I am in the US, and I have been to Europe 2 times, once in 2006 and then again this past July.

The people in Europe eat very small portions compared to the portions over here.

I am guessing that there are a lot more over weight Americans then in any other country.

Also in Europe folks walk a lot. Here, we drive everywhere.

For those of you who have never been to the US, trust me when I tell you that our portions are super sized. Also, we snack a lot in between meals where most people in Europe do not.

This country is headed for trouble if we do not cut down the amount of food we are putting in our mouths.

I now know first hand that we do not need a lot of food to survive and be healthy. I am living proof of that since I do not have a stomach and all of my nutritional numbers through blood work are always good.

I still say, after what I have been through, that we need to be happy with who we are and not let anyone tell us we are fat.

Clare,...YOU GO GIRL!!!:wink2::wink2::wink2:

 

[Surferboy]

I'm currently sat at my desk and keyboard with gritted teeth and smoke emanating from the top of my head

I can sit here and tell a hundred and one stories about gluttonous induced overweight problems, where the finger of blame is pointed at everyone BUT the person over eating. These people are the ones who make the "normal" weight people feel they have a right to assume that everyone who is over weight over eats, and makes them feel they have the right to poke fun!

I have a friend who was very overweight and large in size. BUT she ate so well - no unnecessary fatty foods, snacking etc. She exercises. Takes necessary vitamins etc etc. But every time she went to the GP and "specialists" explaining that she was concerned that there could be some wrong, they just turned around and told her to address her diet.

To cut a very long story short, through pure chance and an unrelated health matter it became clear that she had a grossly under-active thyroid. For years this went undiagnosed. Now she has started to shed the weight and is looking and feeling much healthier... and happier.

I unfortunately have the exact opposite problem to this. I'm grossly and worryingly underweight Especially since my last flare

And KarolH, I've been to the US and know exactly what you are talking about.. especially the "portion sizes". And, in relation to what I said about my weight, when in the US people were staring and poking fun at me and my [lack of] size. I was made to feel like a freak there... especially in Orlando.

But to all, I think that we should ignore the ignorance or lack of knowledge of these people and try our best to make ourselves feel better and improve our health.

 

[sjink]

Hi all

My partner is a vegetarian... and last time he was in the US he ate cheaply by often only having the side salads served to friends! It was hard for him to get veggie food that was not loaded with cheese or mayo both of which he is allergic to. So the side salads plus a baked potato gave him all the calories he needed. I would be hopeless in the US as my appetite has to be constantly reined in as it is )

It is sad that we feel low when we are a little "larger than life". Having said that no doctor or specialist has ever got at me about my weight even though I am more than 2 stone heavier than I was when diagnosed.

If more of us stopped falling for the media push for a fake and airbrushed idea of beauty then this prejudice might lessen. I am both middle aged and a bit on the heavy side (not gross just larger than so called "normal") but my partner says he still finds me just as attractive because it is the personality that shines through regardless. I really do think we need to set our own standards of beauty and not be conned by people selling perfume, clothes and makeup. I know it is harder for younger folk who seem to be in a constant beauty/wealth/career competition but it can be done. If you focus on things that matter instead, like caring for others and the environment then it puts things into a more sensible proportion.

Be happy, eat well and healthy
Love
Sara

 

[confused1]

This is really a problem. People now feel justified in making comments to strangers about their weight. I know many people overeat, eat the wrong food, don't exercise, etc. But not all of us.

Yes, I overate my way to my current weight after I went back on pred. But there is no way to eat enough to gain 12 pounds in a week. I wasn't downing dozens of doughnuts or cartons of ice cream. I eat fairly healthy. And for most of my life I've been below the "typical" weight for my height. I don't eat fast food. I don't fry food -- haven't in years. I don't make or eat desserts any more. Candy -- my big downfall -- is off the menu now for months. Same for pastries or rolls. I feel horribly guilty if I eat a piece of whole wheat toast. I am not poking food down my throat. And I'm not really snacking anymore. I say really because once in a while I just give out and I have to eat to stay up and going.

I was doing so well, walking 30-45 minutes every day at a good clip. It exhausted me, but I was doing it. Three weeks I was doing it. Then I got another bronchial infection and I've been too tired and sick to walk anymore. I wonder if the exhaustion from exercising led to the infection. Of course I will try it again when I'm back from Phoenix and a bit rested.

I struggle all the time with self-hatred. I'm fat. I earn no money. My medical bills take money from things that we need. And we aren't saving anything at all anymore. We live right on the edge. I can't go and do the things my husband loves anymore. I am no good at keeping the house. I forget things and recently mailed another bill late and so we were charged a late fee. My husband was really upset.

It's hard for me to see anything good about myself. I was raised to be of service, to work and to save and to do for others. I'm trying hard to accept this lot that life has dealt me. But it's a struggle. And now I have this weight issue. Everytime I look in a mirror, change clothes, take a shower or just try to sit comfortably I am reminded of the size of my backside and stomach. (and no boobs still. If I have to be fat, couldn't I get boobs too??? :lol

So there you go. I know all of you are beautiful and valuable people. I care for you all so much. Myself, that's another story.

Sunny

 

[peonyprincess]

Ok, I know exactly how everyone that has extra "fluff" feels. I had started eatting more healthy and had lost some weight and was becoming more happy with my body. See, when I was in nursing school, I had a tendency to over snack, so now I have to remove those snacks. Anyway, I had gotten down to what I thought was really good and then WHAMO, I got sick. Now initially that allowed me to lose more weight and no not in a healthy way but weight lose all the same. Then came the bigger WHAMO times 2.....the meds. Talk about putting the weight on. I think every time I swallowed a pill, I gained a pound and I have to swallow a bunch of pills a day!

I absolutely love it when people say, "Oh your not fat. You cannot help it, it is your disease." Now, I admit to not being the sharpest crayon in the box, but doesn't that sound like someone saying "because of your disease you are bigger than Saturn"? At least that is how I take it. ARGHHHHH!!

Anyway, I now am back to trying to exercise more. It has been difficult when you are on oxygen and trying to find your new limit. I am back to eating better and am currently on more of a liquid diet currently since I had to have all my teeth pulled, thank you Sjogrens. I cannot WAIT till I can get my "new and improved" teeth. I miss eating crunchy food. Oh well, until then, I will settle being as big as a planet.

Nancy

 

[KarolH]

And KarolH, I've been to the US and know exactly what you are talking about.. especially the "portion sizes". And, in relation to what I said about my weight, when in the US people were staring and poking fun at me and my [lack of] size. I was made to feel like a freak there... especially in Orlando.

Surfer,

I am sorry that this happened to you.

What the **** is wrong with people?


Ignorance is putting it mildly.


When I was extremely obese, 354lbs, people would make comments to me also.


By the time I was done chewing them up and spitting them out I would walk away and their mouth would just hang open....I shut them down in a New York second.

My mother is over weight and when I tell you she eats like a bird...that is the truth. I can not understand why she is heavy other then genetics.

I am so sorry to everyone out there who is being poked at and belittled because they are heavy.

I can honestly say, now that I am too thin that thin people are treated better then heavy people, at least here in the US.

Why can't we just accept people for who they are.....we are all God's children and we are all beautiful too.:wink2:

 

[Raglet]

You know, the weird thing is that we are all conditioned to put a VALUE on size.

Society raises up to believe that somehow we are morally 'better' if we are not overweight.

The fashion industry teaches us that if we are seriously underweight we are beautiful.

I think we would all agree that there is a healthy weight to be in terms of health, and heck that is all that matters. But to my mind, people who are morbidly obese have a health problem, not a bad person problem. It's society who gives them the 'bad person' problem.

The whole thing is just so weird, especially when you have little girls as young as 4 years old saying they are 'too fat'. Now that is truely sad. Equally sad are the children who are getting type two diabetes aged 12. I am just so pleased that my daughter (aged 22) got to be a child when kids were still running around outside playing chasie with the neighbourhood kids rather than inside playing on the computer or play station.

I also hasten to add that while I have been typing this post, I have been munching on a kiwiburger and hot apple pie from McDonalds (no fries or coke - no virtue in that, I just don't like them).

cheers

raglet

 

[Surferboy]

Hi all

My partner is a vegetarian... and last time he was in the US he ate cheaply by often only having the side salads served to friends! It was hard for him to get veggie food that was not loaded with cheese or mayo both of which he is allergic to. So the side salads plus a baked potato gave him all the calories he needed. I would be hopeless in the US as my appetite has to be constantly reined in as it is )


Sara

Don't get me started about vegetarian food in America

I had a classic and funny (yet also annoying) episode in the local Mcdonalds in Queens, Newyork. But me explaining what happened would go well off thread. But I may post it in the Off Topics section when I have time. Rather funny, but shows what America to vegetarians was like back in 1996

KarolH, no need to be sorry It wasn't you. And to be honest, before I was diagnosed with Lupus I would also self ridicule my own weight (but never anyone else as that is truly not in my nature) as then it was not a medical issue nor was is down to the fact that I didn't eat. But the Lupus has well and truly put an end to my self ridiculing as this is now a medical and worrying issue.

 

[confused1]

We can talk it up and down and spend enough words to write a book, but in the end I can only say that I'm just plain sad at what this disease has done to me and all of us.

Sunny

 

[Marika]

I thought about this thread a lot tdy...and i was really ashamed of myself...when i realised i also had fallen into this trap..although i really thought 'I wasn't like that'
tdy at school a group of teachers were going off for a hike after school
one of them a female teacher about size 22/24 came to school in a pair of shorts..not knee length ones..but quite short...
i thought to myself gosh can't waite to tell my daughter who knows her too...then i remembered Katherines post....
instead i ended up thinking wow...you have the self confidence i would love to have, no way would i walk into school with 17 yrs old in shorts...
it was hot and they were going hiking...why shouldn't she wear them i suppose..good luck to her.
but i was ready to scorn her....maybe somone 4 sizes smaller than i am..says the same thing about me...fancy wearing jeans at her age ect....who knows

marika:worried::worried:

 

[chilli]

I totally agree.

i think confidence is the key..whatever size you are.

for me, certain people that i know have no hesitation in passing remarks on my weight gain.......i try not to let it get to me but, i feel uncomfortable at this size and know that i am not at my 'fighting weight' so to speak......shoot, i even have a big stomach

i have been on a diet for the past 2 weeks; i cut out all fizz (again), meat and have stopped eating takeaways etc.....suffice to say the first week i lost 2lbs, the 2nd week i gained 1lb......so in 2 weeks i have a total weight loss of 1lb????????????

i give up......

i am going to go back on the GP referral programme and see if exercise will make a difference. i do walk when i have the energy but i am not as active as i used to be.

 

[chilli]

and i absolutely hate the fact that people feel free to comment on others weight; whether big or small in size.

i can only speak for the uk but i read somewhere the average clothing size for women is 16............. which makes me average sized !!!!!