Welcome to the forum Pamela
I am sorry to hear how unwell you are and about this GP who does sound uncaring. You and your daughter have done well to insist. It wouldn't surprise me if you did have lupus or something very similar but certainly further investigation is warranted.
About not being anemic, my understandings of anemia are pretty basic as I find it confusing and think it probably is complicated. However, anemia is a decrease in the oxygen carrying capacity of the blood either because there are not the right number of cells or the cells are not the right shape. So if hemoglobin is low surely there is some sort of anemia even if iron levels are normal. There are many different sorts including what's known as anemia of chronic disease, although I think serum iron levels are low in that, and there are autoimmune anemia conditions. Untreated anemia is potentially very serious and even when not severe has numerous unpleasant effects on general health.
Anyway, anemia needs invesigating to find the cause and 14 weeks wait for lab results might be reasonable if you lived down the Zambesi !
Change your GP if you possibly can. Did he never offer to do an ANA test.
I suggest you do not baldly say to the rheumy that you think you have lupus as first of all you might not; second, it might not be lupus per se and most important it introduces unhelpful dynamic to the consultation.
Some doctors might actively resent it as they do not like patients who seem to have diagnosed themselves. You can always say that a friend suggested that lupus or some similar disease could account for all your symptoms.
Make a list of all your health concerns leaving nothing out as almost anything can be relevant to lupus. Also list your health history, again leaving nothing out. A note of the chronic health problems of close blood realtives can also come in handy. Then inform yourself about diagnosis symptoms and testing from the excellent articles on
http://www.uklupus.co.uk/, the information section of this site. The ACR Criteria are listed at the top of Not Yet Diagnosed section of the forum and it is worth looking at the list of 'alternative' or additional criteria to see what you can relate to there as well.
Please let us know how you get on. We'll help you all we can to better health.
I hope you don't have to wait too long for the appointment
Bye for now
Clare