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I'm working on planning the memorial for my mom for our family and friends in Colorado. This one will be a regular Catholic service, and there's a lot work to planning it and getting everyone on board that you want to do readings and stuff.

The service will be May 29th, and I was planning on flying out the day before...but because my aunt (boy that's a long story) doesn't want to stay for a day or two in Denver so my grandmother can spend some time with me and the other family, I'm flying out 2 days prior to Grand Junction and driving my grandma to Denver. That way she can meet with the priest also. He will want to meet with me prior to the service. I will also be staying longer so that I can take my grandma back to Grand Junction, so instead of flying out on Sunday, I will fly out on Monday. My husband is going to fly out the evening before and then back on Sunday so he will only miss one day of work.

Back to my aunt - she can't stay for a day or two in Denver because "that's a busy time at the Goodwill" and she doesn't want to miss work. This doesn't surprise me, she couldn't be bothered to call my mom or write to her from time to time. My mom was so hurt by that, she felt like her sister didn't care anything at all about her. Then after my mom died, she didn't even send me a sympathy card (and neither did either one of her children). It wasn't like it was a birthday they missed...my mom died and they couldn't be bothered to take 3 minutes and spend a stamp...I'm so hurt by that. It's sort of like it lets you know your place and what you're worth...or not worth.

I've also decided I'm going to put something in newspaper about the service so that if my brother is any where around, maybe he will see that our mom is gone. I'm not interested enough to pay someone to find him (he chose drugs over the family...stole money and then took off. He hasn't contacted anyone for over 16 years, and we don't even know if he's still alive).

I miss her so much, her voice, her laugh, her hugs, her kisses and her smell. There's still such a big part of me that doesn't want to believe that she's gone and I can't delete her phone number out of my phone...it's still there. I want so badly for her to call me and tell me she's home from dialysis - but then again I don't. I know she hated dialysis, and she's not in pain anymore and Lord knows she was in a lot of pain! I just miss my mom I guess.
 

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Hi Melissa,

I am sure it will be a beautiful service. Everyone will be there to celebrate your mom's life and the wonderful person she was. They will also be there because they love you and want to help you with your feelings of loss. Forget the hard feelings, this is a day that is an expression of love.

My thoughts are with you,
Lazylegs
 

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Hi Melissa,

If I may suggest to you to go out and buy 2 books:

The Shack and 90 Minutes in Heaven.

They are awesome books that put death and dying into a whole new perspective.

The Memorial service sounds lovely and hopefully if you place it in the paper your brother may just show up.

I am so sorry your missing your mom so much. My heart goes out to you.:wink2:

Try and keep your chin up and let us know how things progress as you get closer to the service. Anything we can do to help you???
 

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Thank you both.

I can't think of anything else you could all do to help. Everyone has been so supportive and wonderful when I have needed them the most, just to understand how I feel and you all seem to do that so well and I don't feel so alone. I will check out those two books.

There is a song by Alan Jackson called Sissy's Song. It's beautiful and it makes me cry each time I hear it:
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
They'll always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
 
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