[Marshmellow]

Last week I hit an all time lupus low. This illness seems to have destroyed me and my life bit by bit and left me drained and unable to cope. I became suicidal.​

Things came to a head and it became clear how bad things had got me and am now receiving help on various fronts, emotional medical and professional​

My parents had not realised, (or wanted to realise my mum says), the level of my distress but since my break down that have been fantastic​

I wrote this poem for them and wanted to share it​

To my parents​

Sept 09​

Where once there were only shadows;


There may now be light​

Where once there was no reason;


It may now be worth the fight​

Where once sheer confusion;


It may now be alright​

I hope having hit rock bottom the only way is up-in steady baby steps

Hugs
Rachel

 

[Katharine]

Beautiful and it is funny (not in a haha sense) how sometimes we have to hit that low in order to then be able to start again and move forwards. Sometimes our illness can be so frightening for others that it is indeed difficult to realise or want to realise for someone else.

Thanks for sharing,

Katharine

 

[granny weatherwax]

Thanks for sharing this with us Rachel, hope you are feeling more yourself soon, sending hugs your way

 

[donna kosk]

hello i think that big hole should start to get shallow again then you can start to climb back up take care and keep your chin up


donna

 

[debatat]

That was a truly beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing that with us. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Deb

 

[greenhaggis]

Rachel thank you for sharing such a personal poem!

:hug: Baby steps sound like a good idea, hope things heal in all ways soon!

 

[KarolH]

Sending you cyber hugs and sure hope your feeling better now that your getting medical help.

I hope you continue the baby steps and get back to being you again.:wink2:

 

[Lily]

Hugs to you Rachel :grhug: You are right that the only way out is up now I am so glad that you are getting some help to get out of this deep dark pit. It's a horrible place to be, you can climb out though...........I have fallen in before.

The poem is beautiful by the way.

love
Lily

 

[keebler]

Well written Rachel.

I hope you get to feeling better with each baby step.:hug:

Baby steps is an excellent way to put it.

Love,
Lyn