I think the humor of your post will go a long ways to getting past it all 
I can empathize with just about everything on your list as well, my eyes have gotten such large red areas that I about got kicked out of my daughter's daycare because they thought I had pinkeye (& while I did get that a lot for a spell - the other times it was dryness or scleritis).
May I add prednisone pimples to your list?
Hope some of these ease up for you... and also hope you feel better for getting it all off your chest!
Take care...
I can empathize with just about everything on your list as well, my eyes have gotten such large red areas that I about got kicked out of my daughter's daycare because they thought I had pinkeye (& while I did get that a lot for a spell - the other times it was dryness or scleritis).
May I add prednisone pimples to your list?
Hope some of these ease up for you... and also hope you feel better for getting it all off your chest!
Take care...
