Dear Brenda, I am sorry you had such a shock. Obviously, if you are due to start Methotrexate I am assuming you have been feeling pretty poorly with your Lupus symptoms anyway. So rough deal all round for you.
I am on Methotrexate, have been for a long time. I can thoroughly recommend it. Side effects can be a bit much to start with, but they fade. I can take my weekly dose and feel perfectly fine just so long as I have a reasonable snack with it. (Great excuse, I do like my food)
If you are going to be busy with the Funeral etc. I am sure your Docs. would agree to you delaying the MTX for a couple of weeks,so you don't have too much to cope with at once. Of course you are nervous, but if your experiences turn out to be like mine I have no doubt that you will find it worthwhile.
Do remember that Methotrexate is very useful for helping you take less steroids. I don't know if you are on steroids, but if so, you may well be interested to know that Metho. has this benefit.
Tell us some more about your Uncle if it helps.