[Becks]

I haven't got a particularly understanding boss (and have posted on here about them before) so yesterday I woke up and so tired I couldn't drag myself out of bed. I have been feeling even more exhausted than normal lately and am regularly dropping off at unexpected moments!

So I rang in sick - but was sure she wouldn't understand if I said "I'm feeling a bit tired" so I said I was being sick! I do feel really guilty about the lie but feel much better having slept all of yesterday.

What if it happens again? What should I say? Should I be honest and say it's the lupus? I just can't see her understanding!

 

[greenhaggis]

Becks,

Just wanted to say hello and say I hope your feeling better soon!

I cant help you with the employer side of things as I'm not in the same position as you (only answer to kids and husband).

I'm sure someone will come along with some useful advice!


Lesley

 

[Karin1]

Hi Becks,

In my opinion, the only way is being honest...what else can we keep saying in situations like this? Although, I guess I'm not the best one to ask. I've lost 4 jobs in the last year TRYING to get back into the work force, but unable to keep my Lupus under control and winding up unable to go to work. ARG. But I was honest when being hired, and things still didn't work out.

But I know what it's like trying to come up with one excuse after another, and it's hard. We all know that forcing ourselves when we're that TIRED, we suffer later.

I think the guilt and stress felt when calling in sick isn't good either. Hard to say what to do. I hope someone else can come along with something better than what I've said.

Good luck,

Karin

 

[Raglet]

with lupus, being tired (as in lupus fatigue) is being sick.

So what's the lie ? you told the truth, you said you are sick.

sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place - no way that you can really win

cheers

jo

 

[greenhaggis]

Becks thought I'd just clarify you did mean this (I think you do!):

'sick' another word used for 'vomiting'.

NOT

'sick' feeling unwell, tired, etc!

Did you go into work today or did you get a well deserved rest!

Lesley

 

[elisabethm]

Hi Becks does your boss know that you have lupus if she does then ask her to look on the site and then she will know that you are not telling her any lies.I do hope you had a good rest and feeling a bit better Elisabeth

 

[Becks]

Hi guys,

Thanks for your replies. Lesley, yes that's what i meant - I said I'd been vomiting! I did feel guilty for that lie but I explained to my boyfriend that I was sick with Lupus!

My boss does know I have Lupus, but she's not very understanding when it comes to my appointments (again I posted on here about that) so can't see her being particularly sympathetic about this!

I do feel much better today having slept most of yesterday so that's one thing I guess!

 

[LBH]

I used to have a boss like that too

Used to have a boss like that too. Did not understand why I looked so healthy looking but alway's felt sick. The worst part is today's society! I remember in my younger days going into the hospital and being admitted and my fellow workers would send me flowers and a card. Would even get visitors. But then later on after working different jobs I saw a big change in the work force. All corporate and no human compassion. Seems like the work force today is all about money and having employees to fill the needs for that company. But then when a person get's sick they get treated like dirt and there is just no understanding anymore. Maybe your boss needs to get some information regarding lupus. Like a few booklets or something telling what the disease is all about. Your boss is going to either care and be compassionate or not care at all. That's an issue that I won't give advice on just by my own experiences. Let's just say there is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly! Saying from a Clint Eastwood movie. :hehe: Something my husband watches everytime it comes on TV. I am married to a western nut.

 

[Maia]

There are unique laws to each nation I'm sure, but if you are not required to say exactly how/why you are calling in sick, I would just say that you "are ill" or "are sick" (not implying vomiting!) and let it go at that. If there is a program in your area similar to FMLA in the US and you have to declare it as being due to your lupus then you'll have to just say you are calling in sick due to an active lupus flare.

In my experience, the less information you give out detailing exactly how/why you are sick, the better. There's no need to say it is due to fatigue, or joint pain, or swollen joints, or headache or blood clot or any other specific thing. At least not from what I know of the US laws although your laws may be different.

 

[Raglet]

Definitely, you are under no compunction to tell an employer why you are unwell, that is none of their business.

Even if you get a medical certificate, a doctor can just write that you are not fit for work, and will be fit for work on such and such a date and your work place has to accept that.

I am so lucky with my work - I went into work today for about three hours, and my boss kept telling me to go home coz I didn't look well.

cheers

raglet

 

[flutterbye]

It is a toughie if your boss is not understanding, personally I would tell them the least possible, so if you are phoning in, to say you are sick or unwell is enough info for them.

I have an understanding boss, who knows that if I say I am sick, then I am, but I do choose to keep exactly what I tell them to the minimum, if I am really poorly I can't even pick up the phone so I ask my hubby to phone me in sick. If I am signed of by my doc then it does say lupus in the bit where they have to say what the reason for being signed of is. I have to say that I also use up holiday at times when I am just plain exhausted or recently to give myself an extra week to get over flaring, but that's just because it's how I want to manage myself, I would feel no qualms about taking the time of sick if I needed it.

Hope that you are feeling much better now.

 

[Jirel]

At my work we send people in the hospital or sick; flowers and we send flowers to people who have close family die. This is arranged by the supervisor. When I was out on short term disability I got ONE card and it was from someone who isn't even in my department.

 

[KitKat]

Hi,

Sorry your boss is a pain. When you are trying to balance everything having to manage their feelings doesnt help but at the end of the day we all still need money!

I totally understand the need to have days to sleep but I must admit I dont tell my boss that is what I am doing. I tend to pick a Lupus symptom that people understand and say that one. For me I have a lot of breathing problems so I just say I am not breathing well enough today.

In the UK Lupus is covered by the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) if your boss is being a big pain it would be worth finding out about it as it lays out your legal rights. Unfortunately it doesn't give guidlines on taking time for hospital appointments etc (which is a pain because I have to take at least half a day off each time I have one and so never have annual leave for fun stuff!) But it does outline about reasonable prevision you should expect by your employer and rules about sick leave and how they are not allowed to count it against you if it is for your disability.

Really hope you are feeling much brighter soon.

Take Care and Keep smiling