Hello Aurianna,
I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that it has come and so brutally affected your life in such a way.
I'm afraid these things can be hard to deal with. We all have/had hopes and dreams that have had to change in some way. I think I get through it by knowing that it is not just lupus that does that to you.
When I was 14 I had my life in front of me "all planned out" as they would say but due to very unusual circumstances I found myself without a home, no further schooling and with no money whatsoever. All that meant that I didn't finish school and obviously that is never really recomended.
However, all that taught me different skills. It taught me to survive and to fight. It also taught me to be grateful for what I've got and to see opportunities.
Obviously, it is hard to think of anything good when your dreams have been dashed but that's just what we have to try and do.
People change direction many times in life and for many reasons. It may be hard to see right now but I'm sure you will find another direction.
I'm really sorry I can't help you more and I don't mean to sound harsh, sending you loads of hugs and positive cyber vibes,
:grouphug2:
Katharine