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Hi Aurianna,

What rubbish timing your Dr's have! I would tell them off if I was you! Birthdays should be filled with getting cake and presents and hugs not news like having a yucky disease! Likewise with new year! Bad dr's.

Well done for being real about your feelings about having these things dianosed. It is really important to not pretend that everything is rosey and how you think and feel about the disease will effect how you react to situations and other people so it is good to let them know how you are feeling. Also by sharing how we are feeling it can be easier to deal with those feelings and give them useful outcomes.

The other people who have written on here are right. You do have a future and I am sure each and everyone of the people who write on here can tell you of the different things they planned to do and the things that they are doing now and the good bits and the less good bits of doing something different. But I think that the future is such a big unknown thingy that it is smarter to focus on the bits that are coming up soon.

Its a shame you haven't got a support group near you but do you have anyone else you can talk to? A fantastic aunt? School counsellor? Church Youth Leader? Mum? Anyone really who is happy to listen and help you work thought the things you are thinking?

Next is there anyway you can make positive decisions about your life over the next few weeks? If you have exams coming up you could say to yourself something like in between revising subjects I am going to dance because I can manage 10 min goes at ballet and I find that fun.

Finally in the last year you have had 2 major diseases thrown at you and I am guessing you have become an adult and you are leaving high school. These are all major life things going on so don't be surprised if you feel a bit all over the place. When things feel a bit steadier then look at the bigger picture and think about the future. Imagine life like a roller coaster you could either scream your way through it and hate every minute or you could put your hands in the air and enjoy the adrenaline rush knowing that either way you will get through it somehow even if some of the loops make you feel a little sick.

With all of that please be rest assured I will be thinking and praying for ya.
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