Hi Maia
Don't know if this is of any use.
When I try to get into yoga poses that might stretch my muscles / tendons, etc. my yoga instructor puts pads and other supports in strategic places to PREVENT me from over stretching.
That is, I aim for the pose he demostrates, but he does not allow me to actually stretch into it. He prefers me to get as near as I can to the pose whilst remaining comfortable and positions pads so I can stay like that for a few minutes. Then I am to relax. Nothing more.
As the weeks go by I am getting closer to the poses without any strain on my muscles / joints / ligaments and tendons, so I'm sort of 'relaxing into the poses rather than actively stretching to the point where it is uncomfortable.
After positioning he always asks 'are you comfortable?" before he leaves me to settle into the pose. Sometimes I feel ok, but have the slightest pulling sensation somewhere and he always spots it and supports that part so it is not stretching.
As I say - I am getting closer and closer to the poses without real effort using this 'softly softly' approach.
I have a theory that my 'arthritic' back (I have scoliosis) means I am a bit 'mis- aligned', so when I think I am stretching equally I am not. This means I can pull my body further out of alignment when I stretch if there is nobody to watch and make sure I am moving safely, and this causes me pain. I have really 'stuffed my back up' a few times trying to do exercises on my own - simple upper body twists being particularly catastrophic.
I wonder if your athletic background might make you more determined to stretch slighlty beyond what would now be effective in the long run?
Rather than giving up, perhaps you could 'tone it down' a little, or try attending some sort of movement therapy with a knowledgable instructor with the time and ability to give you an individual assessment and program to get you back on track with safe effective independent exercising that will maintain your suppleness.
You might even try stretching in front of a big mirror to check you are correctly positioned.
Hope I'm not talking out of my botty, but I have been very surprised how different I feel following this gentle approach. Once upon a time I believed 'no pain = no gain'. It always seemed to work for me in the past - but not any more!
Good luck
Take care
