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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
yesterday my legs just decided they weren't going to work at all - at least one leg did (I had to drag it like a dead weight), while the other one wasn't much better. It happened while I was out with the dogs, and of course I was miles from the car (well, not miles, it just felt like it) but it was ok, I just dragged my stupid leg back to the car.

The weird thing is that at the moment my leg is actually better when I am not using my crutches. It's like my brain just cannot co-ordinate the double action of using crutches and using legs at the same time, it is just too much to handle so it has to cut one of them out.

So of course I have had to ditch my crutches, which bring problems of its own, but it is better than having to drag a heavy dead leg behind me. My leg is pretty stuffed (to put it politely) either which way, but honestly I just totally lack any enthusiasm in telling any of my doctors about it. Number one I really don't want to end up in hospital, again, and number two I don't want the stupid hospital to decide that rituxan is not helping and withdraw my funding. And if I start costing the hospital too much in additional treatment, that is what they will do (this is NOT an insurance situation, I live downunder). Rituxan is still doing amazing things for me cognitively, so continuing treatment with it is really important to me.

I have discovered that my brain seems to cope better with my walker which is easier to use as I don't have to do anything with it bar holding on to it.

So life is ok, apart from massive headache today, and I feel like a real meanie-poo because I haven't walked my dogs today. I always walk them, no matter what (I just need to drive them to a huge off lead dog park and they exercise themselves - they run off and play with their doggy friends) but today I just can't do it as I am feeling rather feeble. And leg dragging is so over rated. I can't use my walker at the dog park as it is rough ground - walkers need concrete or inside flooring.

I know eventually I will likely have to get a mobility scooter to walk the dogs, but I hope I am not there yet. And that would require a vehicle change, as I would need to be able to drive it into the back of a van to take it around with me. Doing all that financially at the moment would not be great as I am still supporting dependents (my daughter is a uni student).

Oh well, you know me, a moan a minute, I am sure tomorrow will be a better day for me - hope it is for you too.


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