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484 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have found something very important ....

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and
Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said,
'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And
lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure
that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went
from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue
Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped
lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own
platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming
with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre
into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious
quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth
running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with
remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and
cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then
Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and
super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went
into cardiac arrest.

God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............. Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the
final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.

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331 Posts

That is the best one I have heard yet.... I love it...:rotfl:

Love Penny

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28 Posts
Good Laugh

I needed that laugh very badly..:rotfl::hehe::rotfl:

There are many true statements in your thread. Many things that we should have in small amounts and others in larger amounts. We all live different lives and eat different things, one thing I have learned is to eat many small meals containing more vegies than highly man made processed foods. Plus all the checials that are in food now a days really can cause us loopies not to feel very well.

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425 Posts

Oh thanks Alwin that is Just so Funnnnnny!!

· Registered
484 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Hi mary

The plants are ... going ... almost literally (is it possible to be almost literal???)

I have been so busy I have not managed to get into my own garden and the grass / meadow / weeds are chest high. Many plants have ben engulfed. I intend to rescue some tomorrow ... or the next day ...

My 'lawn' has plastic sheeting over it and has been turned into a plant nursery / holding bay for when I finally get down to the garden to build more walls / lay more paths. Probably autumn. I have to build a wall that will serve as a ramp wide enough to get a mini digger down into my garden. It's steep. Until i have done that i have no chance of levelling the ara that is supposed to be a lawn, and it is tiresome trying to get a wheel barrow up and down ancient stone steps that are wobbly and laid on soil.

Oh well - I don't mind. In my imagination i can only see the furture so when people look at it and have a fright, I just say - just you wait - it'll be great!

and do you know what - in my MIND it will be!

Thank you very much for asking mary. A bit of encouragement every now and then helps re motivate me.

My little greenhouse is tidy and is starting to produce lots of little green tomatos, and my strawberry bed is bursting with ripening fruit. My raspberries are full of tight little green gems, and my gosseberries are getting really fat and juicy. Plenty to nibble on in the tidy bit whilst i wander through the weeds elsewhere quietly plotting and planning wonderous scemes that will no doubt NEVER come to fruition.

Happy days!

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