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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mom was in the hospital the week before Thanksgiving and got out on that Monday. She was still pretty weak and little confused. The neurologist changed her Lyrica around a little to help the seizures stop and seemed to work.

Well, with the added Lyrica, it put her over the recommended dose for dialysis patients and made her a little lathargic and confused. Around holidays, they adjust everyone's dialysis schedule so they can take the holiday off and my mom got confused. She thought she was supposed to go on Wednesday as opposed to her usual Tuesday, so she would go with the transport on Tuesday when they came to pick her up.

Needless to say, by Thursday (Thanksgiving day) she was in pretty bad shape. She hadn't had dialysis since Monday and I knew when I left that day that we would be back in the hospital. I got the call at 5am on Friday morning, but I didn't hear my phone ring. So when I woke up about 10:00, I got the voicemail. I already felt very bad because I hadn't heard my phone, but when I got to the hospital, I found out that they put a foley cath in her - and she doesn't produce urine!!! So there was blood in it and her bladder was very very sore.

On top of that, they had to give her something to counter the narcotics in her system because she was pretty much unconsious from being so over medicated.

She went straight from the ER to the dialysis unit in the hospital and was doing better after her dialysis - but none the less, I had nurses giving the "you suck" look because they had tried to call me (the only thing I can figure, is that the small heater we have in our room is loud enough, that I didn't hear my cell phone - a situation which I have corrected so it won't happen again).

My husband - of course he's getting mad and pouty on me because I do go to see my mom each day when she's in the hospital. She can't get out of bed, so she's stuck in her room. If she could get out, she could at least go talk to people or something, but she can't and I know she gets very lonely and bored. Anyway, so here it is Wednesday, and my husband is copping a total attitude about the time I spend with my mom.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I can't make either one of them happy all the time, so one of them is always mad at me for something or other, but I do get tired of the tug-of-war. (And he forgets when he was in the hosptial, I was there with him everyday and stayed over night with him one night because he was afraid)

But on the upside, they put in a mediport yesterday. This means I don't have to yell at the nurses to stop poking her trying to get an IV in. Her skin is so hard, that MOST of the time, they can't get one in.

After her dialysis yesterday, she seems to be doing a lot better - her blood pressure is back down to where it should be, she can breathe better, and she looks better. With any luck, she will get to go home today.

There's my venting....I just wish a book of answers would drop into my hands so that I knew what to do, and what was the "right" amount of time to spend where. It breaks my heart when she's so sick, she gets scared and grabs ahold of me and there's just terror in her eyes. How can I NOT go to see her everyday when she's there??
 

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Oh Dear :sad:

Poor you and your poor Mum :hugbetter:

Thank goodness you can be there for her as an advocate when she needs it. Don't hospitals make you mad sometimes :mad:

Im really sorry your husband is copping an attitude about the time you are spending with your Mum. Its not as if you havent got enough to be worrying about:( How easy it is to forget what its like to be scared and alone and to need some support and company.

I was just leaving work to go home when I saw your post and I couldnt go without giving you a great big hug :hug: and some special strength to help you and your Mum through this difficult time. You are a wonderful daughter and its touching the way you write about your Mum. She is a lucky lady to have you by her side. I hope she gets out of there pretty quick and things can get back onto an even keel for her.

In the meantime Melissa, give yourself a great big pat on the back for 'managing' a very difficult tug of war situation. You are right by the way. Pretty much either of them will be mad at you at different times.

I think you should plan a nice treat for yourself after your Mum comes home from hospital. You sure deserve it.

Much love to you and good health to your Mum
Joan:rose:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Joan,

Thanks for the hug, I really needed it. It looks like she will be going home tomorrow instead of today. I put a pot roast in the crock pot this morning, so my husband will have a good dinner when he gets home at lease. I'm going to try not to stay very long tonight. I know she's lonely, but I'm beat.

Yes, hospitals make me mad on a regular basis, but I do try to be fair. I know they have a lot to do and a lot of people to take care of. But if they are really doing something I don't like, then I do go off. Mom calls me her "pitbull". At one point, she had a lazy nurse that didn't get her the medication she needed or anything, so I had her thrown out of my mom's room and demanded that she not enter it again. That's the "worst" one, but I do make it quite clear that someone is watching her care closely.

I don't understand (well sometimes I do understand) how people can just walk away from a loved one who is ill. My mom's roommate just turned 100 a couple of months ago. She can't communicate very well, and her daughter only comes to see her for about 20 minutes once a month. If she were my mom, I would be coming unglued about some of the things they DON'T do for her...but it's not my place to say anything. If there is something blantant, I do speak up on her behalf (like if they go all day without changing her, or forget she's in bed at dinner time). Some times the aids push her chair in the room and point her at the wall...how boring!! But I digress.....

Thank you for the well wishes and for the support. Sometimes I get to feeling very overwhelmed!
 

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My heart goes out to you and your mother.

I am glad that she may be home soon as this has been a big ordeal for everyone involved.

I am sorry that your husband has been less then understanding with you.

I do hope moving forward that things improve and try to enjoy the up coming holiday season.:wink2:
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks Karol!! :) Hoping she will get to go home today, and hoping we can stay healthy for the holidays!!
 

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Poor you, I'm so sorry you are going thru such a hard time....I looked after my mum and dad the last 2 yeras... and yes my husband gave me a hard time too...I live in a different country than they did.....
But many things have happend since....I am so grateful that I had the chance to look after my parents and help them.....as for my hubby less said the better...
and you know what...you can always get another husband.;);).but you only have one mum....
thats what I think of men at the moment sorry about that......
hold on in there...but look after yourself too.

Marika
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Mom has been back home for a few days now. She's doing pretty good, but she's back on her oxygen full time. She was on it for a long time and then she didn't need it...and now she's back on it again. She used to be on 2 liters while she was sitting up and 3 when she was laying down, but now she's on 4. They did a chest x-ray and said her lungs look clear, so I'm not sure what's going on with the oxygen.

She told me that she feels like with each trip to the hospital she gets weaker. :(
 
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