The Lupus Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ever since I was diagnosed I feel like I have lost so much:worried: ...health of course, my lovely summer tan and swimming :swim: in the midday:sunny: ......I was already on disability so I was pretty used to that, but I was a volunteer at a local state park as a researcher, and the best thing I was doing was working with a group of children who were in a social group and all who were severely affected by autism. Many of the kids were non-verbal, but who I feel I had a great connection with each of them.:p While I was sick I could hang in there during the winter months when we were inside playing and working together, but then the social group switched to the summer months and spent lots of time outdoors, the need for volunteers also went down because attendence went down.:( I had to stop helping, I just couldn't take the heat and sunlight of the summer months in the heat of noontime. I miss those kids so much, it had always been my dream to work with these children since I was a young teenager and now it is gone, and if there was an opportunity I don't feel well enough to keep up with them. Then of course there's Keegan who had to go back to the breeder's. and the loss of several relationships because people are angry about that decision.:sad: Of course I still miss that sweet pup :dog: and his companionship, yet I feel some relief because I was so stressed out caring for him. My life had been cut back to visiting doctors, blood tests, other tests, the pharmacy, which luckily delivers at the times I cannot get out. I have been planning to get a parakeet/budgie when I get some extra money,:wink2: I have also started back on the stamp collection, ink bottles, quill pens, post cards and ink blotters. I have also gotten quite interested in rocks and minerals and hope to visit a lapidary store in a nearby town once my car is totally fixed, it's not too reliable right now. I also have been searching for things on ebay to add to my collection, and have been keeping up on email to friends all over the country as well as those nearby.I also want to look up things to do at the state park again, since I know the DNR naturalist and she knows my limitations, maybe we can figure out some way I can contribute. Of course this site is a wonderful support and distraction. I just feel so alone sometimes:eek:hdear: even when I don't feel like being around anyone at the time. It would all be a little bit better if once I fell asleep I could stay asleep:yawn: I hope to see the rheumatologist on Monday and maybe she can give me something better than soma, all it does is when I wake up an hour after falling asleep I am dizzy and sick to my stomach.:sick: Eight hours of sleep would do me good. Of course tv watching has become an all day, sometimes all night past time, I could probably tell you everything I watch on a daily basis, plus all the specials, sometimes because I have seen them several times! Maybe once it gets a bit warmer, I can walk a little in the mornings when it is cool and not so sunny. I need to get a bit more stamina, if that's possible.;) I'd love to take a trip to Tennesse to a gem mine and look for gems, sounds weird but they have covered flumes and seats, so that you can sit and wash the dirt off the stones and see if you've got anything good, but going alone is kind of out of the question because of my health. But maybe sometime my mom and I can go if she can get the time off of work. I have been reaching out to other people which is something I never used to do especially when I was depressed, so that is a support and a source of amusement. I have been babbling on and on, it's times like this when I miss the friends who have passed away, as well as family members I used to visit. Always a place I was welcome. Weekends are the most boring because, nothing much on tv, Mom is busy or at work and other people are busy as well since it is their time off of work. I really don't feel all that sorry for myself, sometimes I just get sooooo bored and lonely. Maybe I will visit the state park if they are not charging an entrance fee, I have several special places I like to go sit and watch the birds, that would be something different and relaxing. thanks for letting me go on and on. Wishing you better health, Karly:flowery:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154 Posts
Hi Karly

Can imagine you miss the kids stax! Do you have any interest in beading? My former collegue and mentor taught a basic beading class at an autistic school and they really have an affinity for it. Also it's somthing you can do indoors and is very theraputic!

So sorry you're feeling blue... hope you feel better soon!

Ps the T gem mine sounds amazing - love getting my hands dirty!:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,267 Posts
Hi Karly

I can relate to you and I think all of us can. Many changes and sacrifices. Things given up. Not because we wanted to.

But you do seem to have a lot of ideas and things that are keeping you busy and I am proud of you for that !

I find it very hard to find anything I can keep myself entertained with and keep my mind off things.

But we can always come here when we feel lonely.

I hope that you can get to the park and enjoy and relax.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,640 Posts
Hi Karly,

I used to enjoy looking for gems also. I used to do it as a child with my father.

I have a whole shoe box of smokey quartz that I dug in New Mexico on vacation..years and years ago. It seemed at the time as if I had struck gold!
:rotfl: :rotfl:

Love,
Sandy
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top