So some of you may have seen (in introductions) I am newly diagnosed. Having lived for many years undiagnosed, finding out that I was actually sick has raised some questions for me.
I find myself trying to disentangle the disease from who I am. Yes I am an introvert by nature - but now I am left wondering how many times did I leave a party cause I was tired from the Lupus and how many times did I leave cause I was just tired of the company :blush:?
I have battled with the "vaugue feelings of worthlessness" as the one text described it. I always thought it was cause I was a highly self-critical person, but perhaps sometimes it was more about my lupus then my introspective nature?
Luckily I never fell for the "you're not tired, you're just lazy" accusations - I always knew I wasn't a lazy person (well maybe on a Sunday afternoon with a book)
On the one hand - I am grateful for the diagnosis - It has made all the bits and pieces "fall into place" and helped me better understand the days when I thought to myself "really what is wrong with you?!" 8).
On the otherhand now I am left sifting through (emotionally and spiritually) what is really "me", and what is symptoms & side-effects of an unknown and unnamed disease that I heave dealt with for so long, that I simply assimilated as part of "me" ? :worried:
I find myself trying to disentangle the disease from who I am. Yes I am an introvert by nature - but now I am left wondering how many times did I leave a party cause I was tired from the Lupus and how many times did I leave cause I was just tired of the company :blush:?
I have battled with the "vaugue feelings of worthlessness" as the one text described it. I always thought it was cause I was a highly self-critical person, but perhaps sometimes it was more about my lupus then my introspective nature?
Luckily I never fell for the "you're not tired, you're just lazy" accusations - I always knew I wasn't a lazy person (well maybe on a Sunday afternoon with a book)
On the one hand - I am grateful for the diagnosis - It has made all the bits and pieces "fall into place" and helped me better understand the days when I thought to myself "really what is wrong with you?!" 8).
On the otherhand now I am left sifting through (emotionally and spiritually) what is really "me", and what is symptoms & side-effects of an unknown and unnamed disease that I heave dealt with for so long, that I simply assimilated as part of "me" ? :worried: