[spellbinder]

hello there boys and girls

hope you are all doing well today, at least as well as you can be...:wink2:.
i'm just sitting here at the doctors office getting my infusion. was a tough stick today, veins didn't want to come out to play.anyway thought i would complain or just socialize a bit while i'm waiting for this to be done.

in another post i mentioned that my rheumy has been out of the country for sometime now. i have been seeing his assistant who is neuropathic md, whatever that is, all i know is that he's been with me from nearly the beginning and i trust him. i've been very worried that the doctor won't be coming back, don't know why just a sinking feeling.

now he has had other rheumies here filling in for him but i haven't really wanted to see them due to the fact that i hate going to new doctors. took me years to find this one. so while talking to khoa, he said he talked with my doc and that my doc wanted me to see the doc he has filling in for him. well i'm kinda weary here. so i met this woman doc. she seems nice enough. she asked alot of questions that to me she should have known if she read the chart. one that really struck me was why am i have IViG treatments...i felt like saying you simpleton what do you think i'm doing this, read the chart. but of coarse i was not rude and i just answered the question.

then she listened to my lungs, did the pulse thing, looked inside my mouth and then i got to stick my tongue out at her... so she has asked for alot of blood and urine testing and to come back to see her next month at my next infusion appt.

I'm terrified...what if she's an idiot. what if my bloods aren't as threating as they should be. my blood doesn't always line up rite for my illnesses. what if she takes my diagnosis away after seven yrs. what if she stops my infusion treatment now that they seem to be helping a bit. gosh i hate this, now my stomach is in knots. i want my doctor back. i feel like flying to turkey and pull him back kicking and screaming. what if she feels i should handle my pain and stop the meds. oh please stop the world i wanna get off this ride. :wall: i can't go thru all this again.

lupus has taken it all away...first my zest for life, then my energy, then my career, then my looks and body, then my husband and now my doctor. :tantrum: its just not fair. i just start getting use to things, except what is learn to live without, now i feel i'm up in the air again.


well enough of this, this is getting too long and i'm whining too much.

hope you all are in a better mood than i.

take care
hugs and kisses

 

[sam101360]

OMG..All i can do is offer you ((((HUGS)))) soft warm hugs. I can tell you not to stress over this until you see what happens next month, however that's like telling someone that there isn't a great big blue bear in the room.

All I can tell you is that agonizing over this isn't going to make things any better. Try to think good things and enjoy the results of the infusion. Cross the bridge when and if you have to.

I'll keep good vibes comming your way.

Stay sane if at all possible - Stephanie

 

[Katharine]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry that you have these worries on top of everything else. I think we all have similar fears at times (even when our rheumies haven't gone somewhere, we keep thinking they might...).

The only thing we can do is to try and control that stress and force ourselves to take one day at a time. Also, I'm sure that of there's a problem you could talk to your neuropathic MD who seems to have some contact with your rheumy?

hugs :hug:
Katharine

 

[lazylegs]

I went through the same panic last year when I had to switch neurologists when mine took a leave of absence. They were from the same office but I was worried they would not see eye to eye. Instead it was the exact opposite. He keeps in close contact with my original neurologist. Hopefully the same thing will happen in your case.

Take care,
Lazylegs

 

[debatat]

Spellbinder

Sending you ((((( hugs ))))). I can understand your fear, this illness is so unpredictable, and takes away things so we feel that we need the certainty of our docs. We rely on our docs so much and when we get a good one we want to keep hold of him.

I really hope that your new doc turns out to be just as good. Your neuro sounds great. I hope that the treatment carries on working for you. Let us know how you get on.

Deb

 

[Jesse88]

I think we all understand the panic you feel right now. As much as we hate our meds, the thought of having them taken away is too scary for words. I can't help but think that this new doctor must certainly be on the same page as your other doctor, especially since the other doctor set you up with this particular new one. I can't imagine that your old doctor would start you with one who has a radically different approach to treatment. Don't worry yet. This may turn into a really good thing. When one door closes, another one opens and you just may find that you really like what's on the other side once you can see everything that's there.

Hang in there and keep us posted, OK?

 

[pollianna]

Nightmare scenario, I know how you feel, think most of us will. It's so hard to get someone, heck anyone to hear us and it takes soooo long. It's such a long hard road. What your feeling is normal. If anything happened to Dr D'Cruz God forbid, I would be weeping so hard at the funeral his widow would think we were lovers.....:worried:

The most important thing is be confident in yourself and stand your ground should this lady proove to meet your fears. Hold on to the fact that your worries are well grounded in experience, not hysterical, not far fetched. I wonder at times after so many bad experiences how on earth the doctors can be so unaware of the vulnerabilities of the sick.....

Be kind to yourself xxP

 

[keebler]

(((Spellbinder)))

When we were dealing with our daughter that was sick last year. I had to go threw another doctor in the same clinic to bring her home.(our regular doctor was away for 2 days)
One of the nurses told me that our regular doctor was keeping close contact with the hospital in regards to our daughter.

If your rhuemy recommended that you see this doc that is covering for you, he is still in contact with the office.

Take care and try not to worry.:hug: I know that is easier said than done.

Love,
Lyn

 

[onetay]

Spell binder,
You sound really freaked out, and understandablly so. Ok, these are just my thoughts but something else to consider. I am sure that the new doctor was wanting you to tell her what has been going on with you in your own words as charts sometimes don't tell the whole story. I am sure she was worring if you also understood all that was going on with you as some doctors give you a dx, treat you, and that is about all they do. She might of been wondering if you knew why you were on the infusion to begin with. The labs might be her baseline for treatment. Some doctors like to take labs to see how the treatment is helping you with the labs. When you see her next time I would let her know that you symptoms and labs are not always in sink with the way you feel or what is going on with you at the moment. If she does say something about stopping the infusion treatment let her know that is not something are willing to do at this time as it is helping a little usless she has something better to offer you. I hope this made you feel a little better, you will have to let her know that you do understand what is happening to you and if you don't speak up then sometimes they think they are in charge lol.

 

[spellbinder]

thanks guys...

you are all just the best!:cheer2:

when ever i feel like crap you all come to my rescue. isn't it funny, when i read other peoples postings those who are scared, feeling really ill and sad i always try to help them and tell them not to quit or not to worry but when it comes to me i'm a complete puddle. wouldn't you think i could take my own advice . i know that this new lady doc is probably going to work out fine for right now, she's just not a nice to look at like my guy..:cloud9: i also have to see the pain doc as the other rheumy is one of those isn't comfortable writing pain med scripts, so while i'm sitting here getting my infusion i get to meet her to get my drugs. i'm still alittle uneasy about all of this, but then again i guess we all go thru this uncertainess thing of maybe i'm just insane and not really sick. i guess for me now especially since i've been starting to feel like a human being again. i actually can clean my house, alittle bit each day. i still can only wash my hair every few days, its so long that it takes everything out of me but my spirits have been doing better (until this little meltdown) since i've been doing the IViG. this mite should go under the medication page but why is that IViG isn't used more often with lupus patients?? maybe i'll post that question in the med section.

anyway thanks again guys, you really are the best:grouphug2:
hugs and kisses

 

[Jesse88]

So glad you're feeling better. Keep it up!