[raspberry]

Why do we have to live with this poxy disease, why can we not just go to bed and not wake up again? I think God has a sick sense of humour and feel tired of being on the end of his jokes.

I had a delightful car crash yesterday, my car was destroyed cos they had to take the roof off, I am now reduced to using shopmobility to do any sort of shopping, I have to walk with ****** crutches now. Good life, I am 46 and big fat and ****** useless. I would love to not wake up again tomorrow but I suppose God has to get his laughs somewhere

 

[lin]

Oh bless Raspbery,i am so sory you had a accident yesterday, and by the sounds of it you are really really down,

I'm not the right peason eithjer right now to talk to, as i feel crap too. But i really know once the horrid feeling of pain and low fellings pass life is for living , its just the pits rasp when we feel like this,

Not seen you on here for a while, and was wondering how things were, we use to hsave nightly chats the old ones hey? lol .

Please dont feel like this, i know its not easy, have you gone see your gp to see what he can do? dont like you like this.

Life is for living you just dont know it yet, when you feel better you will, me too lol......... Rasp dont really know what else to say lovey. Only want you to feel good again soon

((((((((Hugs)))))) Lin xxx:there::grouphug2::foryou:

 

[Katharine]

Oh dear Raspberry (((((((((hugs)))))))))

It seems that you have a lot on your plate right now and that that car smash was really the last thing that you needed.

I'm so sorry you're feeling that down about things. I can't say much to help. I think we all wish we could do more at times but really all we can do is be there and listen, arms outstretched to give you an enormous bear hug :grouphug2:

I think that all we can all do is take life one day at a time and look forward rather than back. There are so many people out there, who don't have lupus, suffering in their own way that I don't feel I'm any worse off than anyone else. I agree lupus sucks and at times more than others.

I don't know your personal situation but maybe you need some help right now. Is your disease being correctly managed? Are you in a lot of pain? Are you feeling down like this often? I'm just saying that you might be able to make things a whole lot better with a trip to the docs.

There are maybe other things you can do to change one or two things that are making you feel down. I find that changing something, giving me a sense of achievement is very important. Maybe there is something concrete you can do about how you feel about yourself. Again, that can be discussed with your doc. It is so very important how we feel about oursleves.

These diseases can cause a lot of suffering through the sheer frustration that we feel. The feeling that we're going around in circles at times. So, I keep trying to go forward, even if I have to take 3 steps forward and 2 back, I'm still getting somewhere - slowly but surely as they say.

I'm sorry if I have said too much or too little. I'm afaid I don't know what to say to help you feel better...

sending much love, hugs and support,

Katharine

 

[Clare.T]

Dear Raspberry

I am very sorry to hear about your carcrash, but I hope you came to no physical harm?

Of course, not having a car for any reason is pretty depressing in itself if you rely on one for everyday life but when you lose it through an accident with all the endless complications involved, it's enough to make anybody temporarily lose the will to live, lupus or not. With lupus, we are so much more vulnerable to any misfortune and it is easy to take it personally, sort of thing.
Deep down I think that everybody with a chronic disease should be automatically spared any other sort of trouble.

Even deeper down I suspect that there might be trace elements of the thought that I did do something to bring lupus on myself or that it was some sort of malevolent action. I know that was my initial instinctive reaction to being told on diagnosis that I was "allergic to myself".
I immediately thought surely I can't be that bad of a person, but I was brought up in a very guilt inducing way and I know better now. Being a fatalist and humanist I reckon that **** just happens indiscriminately, sheer bad luck. That makes it somewhat easier to bear.

There have been times in my life when so many bad things have happened one after another that I have felt something very similar to what you are feeling right now. There've been many times when I wish I could be beamed up somewhere else or just opt out for a while, until I have boosted my morale , and bounced back.

I hope that you are just going through a very understandable reaction to a major trauma and will feel better very soon. If you were already depressed you will find it harder to recover, same as if you have had a lot of bad luck recently. If I dare say it, if you do have a belief system and truly feel you are cursed or being punished it might be much harder to regain emotional equilibrium and maybe a spiritual advisor could help you out. Bad things really do happen to good people.

When that doomed and desperate feeling persists it is usually a sign of depression so if you aren't feeling better about it very soon please seek professional advice. If you do have any thoughts of self harm it is essential to seek professional advice urgently.

I hope you will be able to confide your feelings to those close to you, who care deeply about you. In fact you must let them know, as their comfort and assurance will be the greatest help to bouncing back again.

On a purely practical level, about the shopping, maybe a supermarket home delivery service would be the answer. I use Tesco every week - it saves me so much time and effort, I don't know how I would manage without it. If you get delivery on a Wednesday it's only £4.

Many hugs
Clare

 

[raspberry]

why oh why

The trauma I suffered has exacerbated the hip and back problems. To cap it all, when I was feeding the girls, I fell and broke some panes of glass which propmtly stabbed me in the knee. Now I cannnot walk without severe pain and have a lovely deep cut to boot. Don't you just live for days like this?

 

[sjink]

Oh Raspberry
So sorry you have had this accident. I know how it feels as I lost my beloved car when some buffoon drove into me and was stuck at home for two weeks until the insurance sorted it out.
Sorry this is not a long reply, bit tired tonight.
Sending you some gentle hugs.
Sara

 

[Nutty]

OH Raspberry....I can relate to everything you are saying right down to being fat and being 46!!! No kidding...

I just said to my husband yesterday that whoever is doing this to me is creul. I am going through a terrible time too. I had pericardits and then I have these nerve damage pain to my knees and muscle weakness and have been living out of a wheel chair. I can't stand more than a minute as the pailn is unbearable. It has been going on for so long. After almost 3 years of having Lupus I have not in been in remission once. My husband quit his job because I need someone 24/7. It would cost us $20 an hours to have someone in to sit with me and he only makes $13. I feel terrible over it because I'm on disability now and not making the money I used too. I was the bread winner. Oh and I forgot, I went up to 80 mg of prednisone when I had the pericardits and I'm sure I've gained at least 40 pounds on an already severely overweight body.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm making this about me; I just wanted to show you that you are not alone and we just have too much in common. We should talk LOL.

Anyway, we are all stuck with this and we are here for you to help you plow through this. I'm not a touchy feely type person, but let me see if I can find a hug for you (I'm not good at the smilie things either, but I will for you. I just learned where to find them today) :there:

Hang in there. It has to get better.

Nuttyu

 

[lazylegs]

Cars are replaceable and you are not. I hope you have a brighter tomorrow.

Take care,
Lazylegs

 

[confused1]

((((((( Raspberry))))))) I don't know what to say, except that I am glad you will wake up tomorrow morning. For the record, I don't believe that God is laughing. If you want to hear what I believe on that account, send me a pm and I'll fill you in.

But please, know that you are valuable and wonderful and that the world is better for you being a part of it.

I understand about feeling fat and useless. I'm right there with you. But deep in my heart I don't believe that. I know you are a special person. I'm so sorry for your car crash and the pain and mobility problems you're having now. This too will pass.

Vent. Post. email. just keep talking.

Hugs,
Sunny

 

[Raglet]

oh, I am so sorry that life is so ****** awful for you at the moment. It just sounds miserables.

Car problems are such a downer - and it sounds like your poor body has been knocked around by it all.

hears to a happier day tomorrow

raglet

 

[Joandublin]

Hi there Rosie

Im very sorry to hear about what happened. It must be very traumatic having a car crash experience like that :hugbetter: I was very glad to see you on the boards this morning as it was very alarming last night to read that you didnt want to wake up today. I hope today is a bit better and you have more perspective on things.

I dont know your personal background Rosie but if depression is a feature in it I would very strongly advise you to seek some help immediately if you are feeling like you dont want to live. Of course it could just be a reaction to yesterdays trauma but if it is something that is ongoing, then please, please get some professional help.

Life can be very difficult at the best of times but couple that with a chronic illness, depression and then a trauma like you experienced and it can suddenly tip the balance gravely. Please let us know that you are okay as there are a lot of members here worried about you.

Much love and strength
Joan:rose:

 

[raspberry]

why oh why

I went to the Gp today. He has given me abx for the cut on my leg which is so swollen and is now tracking, so hopefully the abx will stop infection going further, he is also helping me appeal against registering disabled. the other doc was using old notes from last year to assess my mobility, my Gp also with me agrees that being like this since october means this is not intermittent!
I have also been given much stronger painkillers, now taking tramadol when needed.

I am sorry if I upset anyone yesterday, it is not like me to be so negative. I just think I had had enough and it overloaded me! had my off day, now get on with it! Thanks for all your messages of support, it makes all the difference and makes it less lonley.

 

[Joandublin]

Hi Rosie

Thanks so much for posting. I hope the anti biotics keep that infection at bay:hugbetter:

Yes its all too easy to become over-loaded and overwhelmed at times of severe stress and its good to vent. Im glad all the replies helped you to feel less lonely. It sounds like you have a good GP too. Thats great he is helping with your appeal.

I hope you can get sorted with a car soon. I would be lost without mine. Insurance stuff can be very difficult to deal with.

Take good care
Joan:rose:

 

[ALWIN]

Fliiping heck Rosie

If I had had the time you have had i would be as angry as a wasp and ranting like a raving maniac.

It is no wonder you are as ****** fed up as a ****** fed up thing.

Sending sadly inadequate positive vibes with big fat knobs on - may only good things come your way from now on - you must have used up your quota of bad luck.

 

[raspberry]

Why oh why

Today I had a really positive day although I think I am taking the consequences! My leg is hurting like billyo, I firstly went shopping with my best friend using shopmobility, we have both bought the same swimming costume cos we both liked it so much. Her daughter was mortified, but we were always called the terrible twos at uni so what the heck! Going swimming tommorrow.
BUT the best bit of all today was my little man, my 13yr old son, came back from army cadet camp after 12 days away from home! He had a really good time but he said he had missed us so much. He was phoning 3 times a day! We managed to get him a new bunk bed and paint his room and get him a camouflage pattern duvet cover and pillows before he came home. I left a rugby ball and a toy penguin on his pillow (his favourite animal!) . He is now fast asleep on the sofa! It is so nice to have him home! So A VERY good day!

 

[Katharine]

Hi there,

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling a bit more cheerful

Look after that leg, hugs to you,
Katharine

 

[LolaLola]

Hi Raspberry, I remember us speaking in Chat quite a while back.
It is very easy for us to feel thoroughly "got at" sometimes. I believe a lot of it is time and unforeseen circumstance. It is some comfort that you were not to blame for the crash. Just think how bad you would feel.
My Daughter bumped her car today, quite badly into a parked car. She is still a Learner. She just froze. I think her APS is bad at the moment. Wish I could have stopped her driving today but my Husband was with her. Maybe she will learn from it.

So glad your Son is home and with lots to talk about I bet.
x Lola

 

[lin]

Rasp, so glad you had a good day, have been thinking of you and hopeing things were a lot better,

we are here for you, big hugs Lin xxxxxxx

if it helps i got acar andcant drive it, just getting use to the rural rider bus grrrrrrrrrrrrrr:hehe:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Joandublin]

Hi there Rosie

Its great to hear from you and Im so glad that yesterday was a better day. Sounds like your son was delighted to be home. How is that leg pain doing?

Take good care of yourself and I hope you can get a car back on the road again very soon.

Luv n stuff
Joan:rose:

 

[greenhaggis]

Rosie,

Firstly, sending a hug to me from you!:hug:

Secondly, a hug to hopefully make the aches, pains, and cuts dissapear (or get much better!).:hugbetter:

Thirdly, the magician to grant your wishes. :dust:

Sorry to hear about the car accident, 'will the insurance pay out?' - I hope so!

Love and hugs!

Lesley