The Lupus Forum banner

1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
elisabethm
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i have a 6yr old grandson who spends a lot of time with me his mum works he stayed with me on monday he asked what age i am told him i was 53 he asked me when i would die told him not for a long time he told me he never wanted me to die i told him every body dies at some time then he stayed again last night when we went to bed he wont sleep on his own so he comes in with me hubby is at his mums for a couple of days so aa stayed to protect me so he said when we went to bed he said again about me dieing he asked me if i could go back to being 21 again so i would be with him for longer i cried when he said that i dont know what to say to him he is a really inteligent child but i dont know what to say to him he tells me how much he loves me i tell him the same but dont know what to tell him has anyone had the same question asked
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,369 Posts
My elsdest son (just nine) has worried about me dying since about the age of 5. It always seem to occur when he was having a stressfull time at school (being bullied) and the question always arises at bedtime. I have always been honest with him in that we all do die but hopefully it will happen when we are all really old. I've always given him lots of cuddles, told him I love him, but still told him he needs to get to sleep. We then talk about other happy events to distract his mind and then say goodnight. I then say that I will check on him every 5 mins, usually its just by me calling out night night and I love you. I do this until he does not respond and has dropped off to sleep. This way works for me and him! We do discuss animals dying etc. with all our children. In the last few years great-grandparents have died and although my children have been sad they do seem to handle things okay and Ihave always given them the option of attending the funeral/cremation! I never hide details from them or invent silly stories just adapt answers about death into child talk.

You really have to do what you feels best and comfortable to you - everyone will have their own opinion - mine is to be open with my children and always respect their feelings over death and if tears happen then so be it - we all need to cry sometimes. Death is sad, but we have to focus more on the good things whilst we all live!

Hope you find a way to deal with a tricky subject!

Love Lesley
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top