Hi Jen
You need to forget about 'not having lupus'. There are many people with an SLE diagnosis who are no different from you. It is a technical distinction.
Lupus takes so many forms it is like many diseases under an umbrella name. To know what's going on with you, find out what your test results are. You will know what most of your symptoms are presumably but it's handy to know if urine tests have been ok for example.
For easy readable but full information about lupus & advice on living with lupus/UCTD I like New Hope for People with Lupus by
Teresa Foy DiGeronimo. Most of the addresses, organisations mentioned are US which isn't useful for UK readers but the rest is applicable to anybody anywhere. It is excellent especially on mind- body Connection and complementary therapies of all sorts, nutrition and exercise.
Dr Wallace's the Lupus Book is a mine of detailed information, more of a reference book and very dense. I don't think it's a suitable starter for most newcomers to the disease. Dr Lahita has one that's supposed to be very good but I am not familar with it. Not to forget the information articles on this site and on
www.lupus.org which are an excellent introduction with enough information as many people are likely to need.
Clare