Hello Skywatcher and welcome
I'm sure it is quite a shock to find that you suddenly have SLE especially with stage three nephritis!
It will take a while for both you and you wife to get your head around. The important thing is to remember that it will get a lot better than now with treatment.
As people mentioned on your other post your wife is welcome to also register here if she would like access to some support and advice. I would say though that you both need to have separate screen names, otherwise it would lead to confusion and certainly doesn't work in chat if ever you go there.
And don't worry, we do have other men on here

It may only be one man in ten but that's ten in a hundred....
Katharine